summer shorts

so, if you know me, you know I am a spaz. It's not an official (diagnosed) medical condition, just too many crazy ideas firing off all at once in a tiny little brain, and all demanding attention right now. If it sounds familiar, you probably have it too, I think it's just called real life. No medication needed (usually), just occasional naps and beers and lots of laughing and you'll be just fine. (probably. I am not a doctor, but this is what I tell myself)
Anyway, I had so many things happen last week that I wanted to talk about, I decided to just share them all, in short story (or even staccato sentence) form.  It's new! It's fresh for summer!  Get used to it, lots of stuff, fragmented thoughts, this is my way. Welcome to summer shorts.

My hair smells really good.

I have decided that coconut/almond/chocolate is my second favorite flavor combo EVER (after tequila/lime/salt. heh)

Q: how long does it take two little girls to eat $9.99 worth of organic raspberries?
A: about 3 minutes (sigh. this is not a joke)

I love Alan more than anything. Seriously.

(we are at my cousin's house, she has 3 daughters between 6th and 10th grade)  Layla sniffs the air and says: "What is that SMELL?!?  It is kind of good, but mostly really strong!"  I reply "it's teenager." (word)  A few hours later Maggie walks in, wrinkles up her nose and says "It smells like teenager in here!!"*  haha-true story. Still laughing about it.

*after giving it some thought I have decided that teenagers smell of a mix of something tropical (maybe pineapple or coconut), flowers, hair spray and nail polish/nail polish remover. (kind of good, but mostly really strong.)

My dad has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, it is early and slow growing, he is scheduling surgery and should be fine. I am holding off on the worry until they tell me I have something to worry about. (yay me) I also happen to have a good friend that works in the field and has set us up with a fabulous specialist, he really is in the best hands. Surgery will be sometime this summer, our summer schedule is subject to change based on this information. Please be flexible.

I love love LOVE my new cedar soaking tub, it makes me feel like a princess. (and also skinny since I just bob around in there like I am weightless (which I am NOT).  Come to find out, you are really buoyant if you are only 5 feet tall and mostly boobs)

ok now, I have saved my favorite for last.
wait for it....
I go down to Eugene to meet with my folks to go with them to Dad's doctor's appointment. (Come ON- you knew this was a Dad story!)  Dad is feeling anxious about the appointment, and we are all hungry and irritable as it is past lunch time.  We are in the mall and Mom and I are discussing heading to the food court to find a bite to eat.  Dad says he wants demands a White Castle burger. (never mind I have no idea where to find a White Castle, and I can't eat anything on the menu)  We load up in the car to get Dad his burger.  It is kind of all about him for a bit, and I am fine with it.  He swears he saw a White Castle on their way in from the freeway. We start heading in the right direction when he gets all excited. He has found the White Castle. Except, what he actually found was this. Castle Megastore.  (Knights and Damsels welcome)  There is NOT a snack bar here, as it is a porn shop. Megastore actually. He said he didn't care, and wanted to go in anyway. (um, no.)  I started laughing so hard I peed a bit, and I proceeded to the taco time down the road.  He was sulky and quiet as he ate his taco.
Later, after the appointment we take him to happy hour (he has earned it).  The waitress smiles and asks him what he would like to eat.  He looks at us and says,  "Ask them what I want, they didn't let me have lunch where I wanted, I doubt they will let me pick now!"   He is actually still pissed that I didn't take him to lunch at the porn shop. Note to Dad, the "edibles" section isn't what you think. I'm not fooling with you, IT'S REALLY NOT WHITE CASTLE!
oh. My side hurts.  This will be funny every day for the rest of forever. You can't make this stuff up folks.