little rascal

the days pass so quickly, I feel like I should be taking notes! We had a great time with family for Thanksgiving, I am always so thankful for our big, beautiful, crazy family. I got a neat chance to talk to my grandpa about the way things were when he was small, and how different things are now. I can only imagine what that is like. It made me thankful to be in the here and now, living my blessed life for sure-which was appropriate, since it was thanksgiving after all.

I came home and worked hard for a week to get some inventory for the magical winter faire, it is the one and only time I take my little online shop live and in person to the public. Things flew! It was really great to see the upward trend from last year when things seemed so desolate. (not to mention that the money I made was a nice little Christmas bonus for our family) I mean, we're not putting a down payment on a place in Mexico like we'd like, but we did book our next trip, so you know, I will settle for baby steps at this point. (anything that takes me south!)

We have been keeping busy with homeschool, this week has been hard since we are swept up with the Christmas spirit and want to play and goof rather than learn. We did manage to squeeze a few hours in though, in between going out to lunch and seeing the new princess movie. We also toured Honey House Farm this week, and talked to Marge my "bee lady". At the little gift shop I got the girls each a kids gift pack that had an educational coloring book, some flavored honey sticks, a bee ornament, and a box of 24 crayola crayons. They were thrilled. We came home to talk about it some more, check out our loot and color. I had to leave them for a few minutes, (as sometimes mothers do) and when I returned, Maggie had snapped every single one of her new crayons in half, well, not EVERY one, there was one lucky yellow that was still whole. One, out of 24. Layla and I were equally horrified. I asked her why she did that and she just smiled. I bet it was great to feel the satisfying snap of those crayons. It is something Layla and I will probably never experience, as I just could NOT snap a crayon that still has a nice pointy tip. (WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT?!?) She doesn't color in the lines either, even though she can, and she draws boys with a pink crayon. I think she is amazing and funny and uninhibited. I am trying to take little lessons from her when she isn't looking. Almost every night Alan and I are almost in tears as I recount our day and the funny things that she does. I call her rascal since to me it means mischievous in a good (but still frustrating) way. (on a side note, we have taken a break from reading Junie B Jones and Ramona books as to not give her any ideas she can't come up with on her own).

We have a very full week ahead and are very excited for the holidays and our train trip to Sacramento (and auntie's BIRTHDAY PARTY-psssst, don't mention it, it's a holiday party and we have been threatened with our lives if we let it out). I hope everyone has a full and wonderful holiday no matter what you are celebrating.

viva fall

There is dirt under my fingernails. Alan always pesters me to wear gloves (since he is so very practical) and I understand, that it is, in fact, a decent idea. However, I am tactile, and gloves don't work for me at all. I have to feel things, (even if I get slivers, and slimed by slugs, and fingernail dirt) it is really the only way for me. Those of you who insist on wearing gloves won't understand, so please don't try, just sigh (like Alan does) and then listen quietly when I notice it later (or can't scrub it off).

The last few days here have been absolutely amazing. I wish I could show you a picture, or make a painting, or even think of words beautiful enough to describe it, but there aren't any, and anyway, it wouldn't do the day justice. Really. Today we went outside to do some fall garden clean up and bulb planting (or as I like to call it-science). My aunt brought me some special bulbs from Missouri that are called naked ladies (for reals!!) and I was itching to get them into the ground. We also went to the tulip festival for Maggie's birthday this year in the spring and I got a bunch of pretty potted flowers (which were in fact bulbs as well-yay!). The bad part was that we had to rip out all of my nasturtiums (they are my very favorite and make me smile a happy smile when I walk by them on the way into the house), and since I was late in planting them, they still looked good and fine, but I knew that soon, it would freeze and the rains would come, and it would be too late. So we dug in. It was a great way to spend the afternoon with my girls, a little destruction, some dirty digging, and some replanting, really there was something for everyone. The sun was shining on us, there was hardly any fighting and enough bulbs and worms and spades to go around. Ahhh, life is good.

We have really been enjoying the season, fall here is usually very wet, but has been surprisingly kind to us this year. We all dressed as pirates and went to the gristmill for their annual apple pressing. It was a really fun (dry) day. The girls also went trick or treating for the first time ever, the have assured me that is their new very favorite thing to do (guess they have forgotten about Disneyland already) We have been enjoying home school and are looking forward to whatever comes next. We are planning to join my family in Gold Hill for Thanksgiving again this year, will be hosting Christmas, and then heading down to Sacramento for the new year. We have plenty in store for us this season. (Good thing my shopping is done!!-oh yeah, you heard me-I'm done!)

AND I'm getting a camera. yay, it's supposed to be a secret (it's not)

it's supposed to be for Christmas (it's not) and I am getting it today.

will post amazing pictures soon, as soon as I can figure out how to use it.

day tripper

Home school rules because you can do whatever you please and it's great. It is actually a learning experience. We decided to ride the train to Klamath, since the weather there this time of year is iffy, and on a good day it would take about 7 or 8 hours (and let's just face it, I am in no position to be responsible for all of us in the car that long, I can hardly manage at home, with help).

My mom had a Friday off and my very good friend Racheal is also very pregnant and the new baby is due to make his appearance at any moment (really) so I was hoping to do some fabulous multi tasking by persuading the baby to come out while I was there as well. (didn't happen)

Ah Klamath, I have such fond memories of you. Every time I go home it is like another adventure in the twilight zone (not the dreamy Edward Cullen version of twilight, the strange, is this actually happening to me version) This trip was no exception.

We had left a very important bag behind when we left, and through some magic powers, my friend Erika had it sent on the next flight to Klamath Falls. (yes, I realize I am spoiled, and I love it, and barely ever feel guilty about it either) My dad and I had to go to the airport to pick it up in the morning. (early, like who is awake when it is still dark-early) We drive out to the airport; (now I must take a minute to explain this to you, incase you have never been to Klamath Falls, the airport is the size of the play area at McDonalds, but with nothing fun to do. There was a one eyed security guard (no pirate patch, just squinty) some gal wearing a pink scarf behind the counter (Sky West employee?) with no visible identification, and some people milling around the chairs in the lobby. ) I go inside to grab my bag, and find out that Klamath Falls is fogged in. What? I go look outside, there are a few clouds, but apparently the flight can't land unless there is like 2 miles visibility, and unless it clears up soon, the airplane will go land in Medford, or even better, fly all the way back to portland with my pink carebear bag inside. I smile at Pinkscarf and tell her I will check back later. Now there is no way I am going home without my bag, and now we have NOTHING to do, and it is 0 dark thirty. Awesome! I need coffee.

Let the games begin. So my dad is like the mayor of K-Town, and has keys to every back stage in the city. I am usually pretty good natured about his "tours" but I was having kind of a problem this morning, since I didn't get breakfast, or coffee, my bag was missing and the day before was LONG and tiresome. "Dad, I NEED coffee." (hoping he will hear the seriousness in my voice and get me some freaking coffee) no response. He has this game where he pretends you aren't there and does whatever he wants. (fun game) This is getting to be an emergency. "DAD! I need coffee" still nothing. I start getting all fidgety (which he can't stand) yay me, it works, coffee at last. We pull into Dutch Bros. and my dad orders his usual, which is a vanilla latte with cinnamon on top. (very macho) Except he says this (yelling, because he can't hear) "vanilla luh-tay with 2 shots and cinnamon sprinkles" the edgy 20something looks at him (in his flannel shirt and bushy beard) and laughs. "Are you joking?" (must have been when he said cinnamon sprinkles-heh) I am rolling at this point, from lack or caffeine and also, I must admit this is the funniest thing I have seen in a while) then he further confuses her by saying he wants the small size so it will be stronger. I get something called a triple death wish (happy Halloween) and we take off. Dad's none too chipper mood is now dampened since I am still laughing at him and his sprinkles. I start to gulp the coffee, and in exactly 3 minutes, it hits. Whoa. Death wish is right. Oops. I am completely high. I start jabbering at a mile a minute and confessing to things I never even did.

At this point, Dad is getting exasperated with me and decides we need to get out of the car. (you would think maybe for a carby breakfast, but no) Tour time. We park in front of a 10 foot chain length fence enclosure with a little pump house looking building in it. This is going to be good. He opens the gate and we stroll across the lot to the brick building. We get almost there, and I get a whiff of something foul. Mmmmm, not good on my empty stomach, and buzzing brain. What is this place? HEY! I yell, you're not taking me to the underground sewer are you? Dad just smiles. Great. We go in and proceed to go down about 6 flights of stairs to the center of the earth. Well, maybe it just felt that way since I am out of shape, but it was deep, and cold. We get to the bottom, and there are some pipes and motors and things (not worth the stairs) and we check it out and climb back to the surface. I did get some information about the city sewer, but can't remember the specifics at this time. I do, however, remember what came next with stunning clarity. There is a big trapdoor in the parking lot, and as we pass he tells me that it is a huge grinder. Hmmm. He says it's name is the "Muffin Maker" (no idea) and it is big enough to grind up a VW bug, or your wife. (direct quote) This actually interests me more than anything so far, as I wonder why anyone would need a subterranean grinder big enough to handle foreign cars. He also tells me that the thing they pull most out of there are Levi's and mop heads. "Who would flush Levi's and mop heads!?!" indeed.

When he starts to realize that I do, in fact need to eat, he finally takes me to (buy him) breakfast at Muchas Gracias. We had tacos, it was 8am. He asked me if he could get a lemonade, I said yes. How could you not love him?

We proceed back to the airport, get to watch the airplane land, and grab the bag. We head home to the wild things, who are very excited to have their wolf suits in hand. (What else would be important enough to have flown to you overnight?) We crashed Racheal's family pizza night, and there was great people watching (Klamath Falls has eyeliner usage like not seen since the 80s-amazing!) Hit the pumpkin patch, carved pumpkins, and went to the movies. We had an amazing visit, and headed home on Monday morning. Phew, I need a nap. Come to find out, the train is a great place to learn-and Klamath Falls is a great lesson in social studies.

it's fun to play at the YMCA

guess what? We got a membership to the Y. It smells like socks there, but there are classes and a pool and the kids think it's heaven on earth. (and they watch your kids for free while you go to yoga)
Yesterday Layla had her art class for 2 hours, so Maggie and I went to the Y, so I could go to a yoga/pilates class (level I). I was a little nervous since I have taken about 3 yoga classes before, and what was stunningly clear, is that I am not balanced, coordinated or graceful, all of which are kind of important details when you are trying to do yoga, come to find out.
I dropped Mags at the kid watch and went off to find my class. Now, not to sound stereotypical, but I was feeling hesitant because the gals that do yoga are pretty cool. They wear matching spandex outfits-which they manage to look amazing in, can pull of the ridiculous poses without looking like complete asses, and never break a sweat. I climbed the stairs, and standing by the door (where I was told to go) there was an adorable little grandma, and another one was perched on a giant balance ball nearby. I asked them if they were here for the yoga class. "Yes indeed", replied the door monitor, "I have been doing yoga since the 70s." Great, my first class with a guru granny. The one on the ball jumped up and came over to introduce herself and "take me under her wing" since I had revealed it was my first time.
As she pushed our way into the semi darkness, she showed me where to get everything I would need for the class. I was handed a big elastic strappy thing, a foam brick and a blanket. I found my way to the middle of the classroom to lay out my yoga mat, and decided on a spot behind another nice grandma who was wearing a stunning pink suit consisting of cotton pants and a bowling shirt with a giant parrot embroidered on the back. This was getting good. As the other "students" filed in, I was starting to feel a little more comfortable. The teacher (or yogi, or whatever) told us to start relaxing and stretching, at which point Pink Parrot shirt turns to me and says, "listen Sweetie, don't watch me for the moves, I just had my hip replaced and I can't do them all just right". Check that. (I was so proud of myself, I managed to not even smile at that, all the while stowing it away to bring to you as a golden nugget later) Class was about to begin so our leader asked us to please stand up. Pink Parrot shirt squawked "but Honey! I just got down here!" (oh yes, this was the place for me)
There ended up being two older gentleman in the class as well, one was a shade ornery and kept mumbling things under his breath when we had to do ab work, (not very zen if you ask me) and at one point in class, let slip an, um, well, he tooted during some stretches. (still no smile from me, just cataloging for later enjoyment). It was going well, apparently this class was just my level of yoga! At one point we were supposed to "shake it out" and the teacher says "WOW-now THAT WAS STIMULATING!!" (slight grimace from me, I am just a beginner after all)
Near the end of class we were supposed to lay down and relax (something she told us we all really needed) and focus on some areas that needed attention. There is light music, and some water burbling from somewhere (too dark to notice, hoping it was a small fountain) and we all curled up for our senior nap time. At this point she goes around turning off every tiny light that was in the room so that we are now in complete darkness. Um, I happen to be afraid of the dark (well, not normally, but in a room full of strangers, that smells like socks, when I am due to pick up Layla soon and need to see the clock!!!) So she is talking really slow and gentle and it would probably actually be relaxing if not for the aforementioned reasons. I am supposed to be focusing on relaxing my third eye. (ok-what!?) she continues to mention everything that I need to focus on including my pinkie toe (I shit you not!) and the whole time I am thinking-I HAVE GOT to get out of here! I open my eyes, still black. There is no way I can sneak out of here. There is wall to wall geriatrics, it is pitch black, and I have to round up all of the crap I am using (stretchy band which we didn't even use) roll up my mat, find my shoes (where did I put those?).
I am starting to get nervous, negating all of the stretching and relaxing I have been working so hard for this past hour. I sit up on my mat (I am pretty sure I am not going to be invited back) she has asked up previously to "not shift" on account of we might bother our neighbor and knock them back into consciousness or something. I stand up, trying to get my bearings, and she rushes over (what are you doing?!) I have to go, she promises me it will only be 3 more minutes. I lay back down. What?! that's right, I slump back onto my mat and lay there thinking of the crap I am getting into leaving Layla at art class so I can nap here with my new yoga buddies. Awesome. Finally, like a lifetime later, she says we can get up. Someone goes and turns one tiny light on, it was enough for me. I jump up, knock pink granny out of the way, throw my brick at the bin and dash out of the door with my mat flying out behind me like some kind of crazy rubber cape. Out the door, down the stairs, (practically flying) to scoop Maggie out of kid watch (where she of course wants to stay, and have snacks and paste noodles to her forehead), jump in car, zoom to art school, only to get stuck in road construction. I was a few minutes late picking up Layla-she didn't even notice. I think I really like yoga, and the YMCA, I have never felt so good about myself as when I hang out there. I think next time I will bolt before the end nap/self centering bit and it should all work out just fine.

Village People

We just got through a very big week. My mom and my aunties came for a visit! They came to be with us and support us at the JDRF walk to cure diabetes yesterday.

The month before the walk is a really hard time for me because the goal is to raise money for diabetes research-which is wonderful-but means you have to ask your friends and family for money-which is not so wonderful. We live with diabetes all the time, every day, every minute, every second, there are no breaks. Ever. In order to get people to want to give you money, (for your amazing cause-and everyone has one!) you need them to understand the horrors of this disease, and why research, and ultimately a cure is so very vital. To get people to understand is a big job, and requires you telling your story, and all of the messy details, to everyone that wants to listen. Mama's do NOT like this kind of thing, especially when it involves one of their babies and an ugly disease. In real life when we are living with diabetes, we deal with it at meal times and whenever else we need to, and for the most part, try not to focus too much on it, because it can take you to a dark place. The month before the walk, diabetes is on the brain all the time, there are lots of tears, and broken sentences, and stress headaches and kleenexes. (which of course all take place in hiding so the kids won't know what a nut job you are, and/or get all antsy and upset when they see mama having a nervous breakdown). As you can imagine, by the time the walk actually arrives, we are ready and waiting for it to be over. The good news is that the walk is always AMAZING. Really, wow. Layla told me yesterday that she must be a celebrity since so many people were there for her. The Portland JDRF walk was expecting over 5,000 people, (I don't think the final numbers are back yet, but I will let you know) it was awesome. Our local walk is held at a vintage amusement park and includes a free full pancake breakfast (with yogurt, coffee and fruit) and a barbeque lunch, as well as free park passes for the entire family for the whole day. Pretty sweet set up, and they pulled it off famously. Our team-Little & Loud-had 25 walkers show up for the big day and we raised over $2000!! It takes so many volunteers to pull off a huge event like this, it is really humbling. Anyway, it is easy to crumple after everything leading up to the big day, and it was so comforting to have all of those strong arms around me to help hold me up through it all. It really does take a village to raise a child, and probably a few more villages to stand around the mama to hold her up on wobbly legs while she does her best to get everybody through it all.

Home school rules

We have been slowly learning how to learn here at Wild Flower Academy (our school name, chosen because we are wild, and we think flowers are pretty, and we like dandelions). The days are speeding by and we are keeping very busy, even though most of our hours don't officially count to put in our log book for the program that we are enrolled in. Nature walks, park play and painting are our favorite things, we have also been swimming, learning to read, and learning about the life cycle of bugs. Layla raises her hand when she knows an answer, even though she is sitting right next to me at the table, and no one else is there. Cute, silly girl. We are supposed to plot out our days 2 weeks in advance (as if, I am sure "real" teachers don't even do that, although I do have 2 cousins that teach grade school, and I plan to ask them directly) and write out our schedule in our official log book. That hasn't happened yet. The thing that has worked for us so far (and kept us all busy and happy) is to learn about whatever is interesting to us at the moment and moving on from there. We caught and observed a praying mantis, and learned about them, (even found a mantis word search!) then set him free. We had frogs to observe and learn about-unfortunately the frogs only lasted about as long as the lesson (RIP willow & Cutie pie) We are now patiently waiting for our chrysalides to hatch out butterflies, and are carefully counting the days until their arrival with tick marks on the chalk board, they should be coming out just in time for the Aunties to arrive! There is also math and maps and writing to pass the time.
Bugs seem to be a favorite subject with both girls, even though we have been learning about different ones for a while now. Maggie is particularly interested in the observation of them, Layla is happy enough to look at pictures and learn facts and information. The shop we ordered our caterpillars from is www.insectlore.com and they recently sent us a catalog of all the wonderful things in their shop. It really is a neat catalog, and Maggie has been sitting for long stretches going over and over all of the pages. Some of the things are pretty unique, they have silk worms and butterfly larvae, but you could also buy ants, worms and lady bugs (really?!) I am thinking that a lot of the things you can find/hunt/make yourself if you don't mind getting your hands dirty. Maggie immediately started begging for a clear cylinder that you wear around your neck, and put live bugs inside (when you catch them) to observe. wow-pretty cool. (and this my friends is why I LOVE the internet) Upon searching, I stumbled upon this blog by a super cool mama (and fellow Etsy artist) Nikki at WhiMSy love, with detailed instructions with pictures on how to make your own bug catcher necklace! AND I just happen to know that we have a couple of these little plastic bubbles floating around here somewhere (and if, by chance, they are no where to be found, I also know where to get some-RAD) Since I am working on sharing, I will share this cool blog with you now: http://whimsy-girl.blogspot.com/2009/08/bug-catcher-necklace-tutorial.html
This is why homeschooling is fun. You get to be creative and have a good time, and spend quality time with your kids. The things we do are simple and silly, but they are real, and it does count in my book, which, if you ask me, is the only one that matters.

things I can't live without today

(in no particular order)
rotary cutter
girls tool kit (LOVE mine!)
tylenol
chocolate chip raspberry magic muffins
coffee

lots of projects underway here. Today we put together a futon, this involved lots of screwing in screws with a non-electric screw driver, and also lots of slapping high fives along with shouting things like "GIRL POWER!!" and "GIRLS RULE, BOYS DROOL!!!" Gotta love the littles, even simple mundane tasks are exciting. I am now cutting our final set of curtains and Layla is scrubbing dishes (after begging for an hour), later friends are coming over to watch football (go ducks!) and there will be pizza. Not too bad of a day says me. Getting up from sitting on the floor is much harder than it used to be, might have to add beer to the list, it might even go at the top.

just showing off

I poked around here yesterday (it may have been quite a while, I try not to keep track, in case I have a problem, I really don't want to know about it) and figured out how to load up pictures!

(I think) so without further ado......auntie goodness!

early bird

I have had a super busy summer. Possibly the busiest EVER (for me anyway). I think I am needing a week or 2 of uninterrupted sleep and rest (a tropical island with the aunties sounds just perfect) to be up to my old self again. As I was getting a few more minutes of sleep this morning, Maggie snuggles up to me in bed and says, "I have a tummy ache" aw-poor baby "why don't you try sitting on the potty?" (sage mama advice) "Why don't you try getting me some breakfast, probably I am just hungry" (if you are familiar with Maggie in the morning, you know that she asks for, and receives, no less than 2 or 3 breakfasts each and every morning, she calls them breakfast, second breakfast, and snack) I roll over to see what time it is (breakfast or otherwise) it is not yet 7am. "You are quite the early bird aren't you?" to which she pulls off my warm covers and says "no mama! you are just a late bird". indeed.

We are trying to get back into they groove of regular life, with bed times and coffee breaks and every other predictable thing that it brings. Have I mentioned that I am a fan of predictable? We have started easing into our first year of home school with some work books for review, so far the girls are loving it. We have also been focusing on brushing teeth and hair and washing up in the mornings (you know, things that kind or got rushed through when we had to get ready at mach speed in the mornings) So far, so good.
We have one last big event of the "summer", the JDRF walk is taking place on October 4th this year. The walk is always kind of a crazy time around here, fund raising is a pain (literally) and organizing everything is kind of a lot. But it really is a great cause and Layla gets to be a celebrity for a day (or so she is convinced), and this year the AUNTIES are coming to walk. First time ever in person, though every year have been our biggest supporters and ghost walkers, we are super excited to have them with us. They are even staying for a visit, we are really excited (even though we have already gotten to see them quite a bit this summer-we are spoiled, and will take as much auntie as we can possibly get) If this was a picture blog, I would constantly be showing off my aunties-they are 2 of my very favorite people on the planet. Since it is not a picture blog (I am not tech savvy enough to figure it out--Erika-any help?!) you can meet the aunties in person at the aforementioned JDRF walk taking place on October 4th. (did you get that yet?) Maybe I am circle talking because my mind is completely used up or because I am just this shade of crazy, or maybe, just maybe, it's because the JDRF walk is coming up (October 4th) and no one (but the aunties) are registered yet, and it is kind of a big deal.
ok, time to hike and journal (or maybe just get a second cup of coffee and referee the girls in the kickboxing match that looks immanent)
catch you the next time.....
ps-we survived the 9th annual Blochtoberfest. It was awesome. I know I am getting older because every year it takes longer to recover. At one bonfire I casually mentioned that next year would be the last one, you know, 10 years is a long time to party. You should have heard the instant and passionate response. wow-needless to say, people will show up whether they are invited or not. Not sure if that's good or bad, guess I'd better just embrace it. I didn't really mean it would be over-I was just hoping that it would be happening in Mexico. A girl can dream.(or drink-either way is fine with me)

happy camper

last night I got home from camp. I promptly fell asleep on the couch. It was a camp for 6 year olds and since I wasn't 6, it was too much for me.
We are lucky to have as a resource, Gales Creek Camp for children with diabetes a little over an hour from here. As a parent of a diabetic child, with no family in close proximity, this disease is ours alone to handle, with no back up 98% of the time. I do have a good friend that helps out a couple of times a year, and my mom is usually good for a week or so break every year as well, but the other 355 days a year, it's just Alan and I, on our own, us against diabetes. This year, Layla is 6, and that is old enough to go to family camp. Family camp is when your family gets to come to camp with you and see what camp is all about. This is because 6 year olds haven't been to camp before and they might be nervous about being away from home, but I think really it's so the mamas can come, and see what goes on, so they might have a lower incidence of nervous breakdowns when they leave their babies behind for a week the following summer.
Camp was awesome. Really, unbelievable. The counselors were amazing (especially considering they were probably all between the ages of 19 and probably about 23 or so) they had endless energy, patience and understanding. Remember these kids were all around 6, which is really young with a pretty short attention span. We were constantly entertained with skits, hikes, songs and games, I was impressed. These counselors were always kind and smiling no matter what they were asked to do (and in the 2 short days I was there, the task list was long, and included everything from acting silly to distract campers to mopping up scrambled egg barf-really).

There was a pediatric endocrinologist there (I learned that all of the staff docs are volunteers) the entire time, and he was who decided how much insulin the campers got and helped them make their meal choices, ok.....please hold...this is HUGE!!!!! for those of you not familiar with specialty doctors, you really have no idea, so let me try to begin to explain it....(catching breath) These are not just doctors, but SUPERdoctors-they have been to school longer, studied harder, and taken a lower paying job than surgeons, even though that job is more prestigious and pays better. They know almost more than anybody about this disease, and they are here, for us and our kids-in person-for the entire time-unpaid. (and since it is during the week, actually have to take vacation time to be here). I Almost cried. (or maybe I did, but just a little,when no one was watching) I don't care about celebrities, I have met a few, and found them, for the most part, not to my liking, but being able to hang out with an endo! I felt like a groupie. Poor doctor, I was stumbling around behind him the whole time, just to try and absorb a little of his awesomeness. I wanted to hear everything he had to say, I wanted to hear the stories about the 90 year old lady that had diabetes since she was 6 in the 1800s (or whatever) and how the cure really was right around the corner, since he knows the fellow that is going to find it (ok maybe not, but close enough-eep!-a CURE!) The story that follows is true and accurate (according to me) and was the highlight to my camping experience: during our only night at camp, the counselors put our kids to bed (sounds dreamy already right!?!) and we hiked across the creek and down to the lodge where the doctor was waiting for us WITH chocolate bars. (this may have something to do with me asking the counselors at every possible chance if there were any cocktails available, and them laughing, and me responding with, well, I could make do with some chocolate). There he proceeded with candor and honesty to talk to us. To us, not at us, not to someone else while we were there-but TO US. (sidebar, if you have dealt at length with doctors, you know that this DOES NOT happen). He didn't even ask for our insurance card or anything. He was not in a hurry, he did not have an agenda, he just sat there, open, and answered questions that we had. And then---when we were out of questions--he brought up things we hadn't thought of. For me it was worth the cost of camp just to hear what he had to say-it was amazing.
When the talk was over we headed back to our cabin to try and get some sleep. I knew this probably wasn't in the cards for me, as I had the top shelf of a rather high bunk (with a 3 inch plastic covered mattress), the room was full of other mamas and daddies and kiddos (all making various sleeping noises), and the staff came through twice in the night (at midnight and 3am) to do blood sugar checks. On top of that Layla had lost a tooth during story time, so the tooth fairy made the rounds as well. (not me-the REAL tooth fairy, she left a note and a goody bag and everything) I was glad when I finally rolled over once and realized that people were stirring, it was time to get up. Day 2 included swimming, a hike to the magical bubble gum tree, games, food, awards and things I can't even remember since every minute was more fun than the last.

I went to camp every summer when I was a kid, and I loved it. I remember crying the last year I went, knowing I wasn't going back since we were moving. This camp blew my mind. I still can't believe everything that goes in to making this process work, and succeed. The camp is just a place, the heart is the people there. I left camp knowing that now I have a place Layla can go-without me-where she will be safe. Not only will she survive there, she will have a great time, and they have the resources to take care of her there, even better than I can. I cry when I think about it, just that she can go and have fun like regular kids, that I don't have to worry, and how lucky we are to be able to take advantage of such a wonderful program. Camp has now been added to the list of things that diabetes can't stop us from doing. take that.

you can't always get what you want....

so, I have heard say that the economy is in the tank. I think this may be true, I have heard it more than once. One thing that is hard about low funding is that you want more things, and you get less things. I am wanting a new camera really badly. I want a nice camera really badly. One in particular, and it is more than clear (from it's price tag alone!) that this is something that won't be happening for me any time soon. I have this little ache inside, a longing, it reminds me of when I was little, and more than anything wanted a cabbage patch kid. Everyone had one, I remember the sweet smell of the plastic face, the feel of the yarn hair, everything. Then in Junior high, I wanted to date Nelson (hair band, twins, blond, you remember) either one, didn't matter to me, just to have the love and affection of one of these beautiful boys. More than anything. I remember one particular day, I found out that they were playing a concert in Medford, a mere hour from where I was, and my heart hurt. I was in physical pain. Oh, to be 12 again, to have my biggest worry be about my hair, or a math quiz.
I really want the camera, and it will happen, sometimes wanting something badly makes the getting all the more sweeter when it finally happens. The reason I want the camera is so I can take lots of pictures of my girls, they are growing and changing so quickly, I don't want to miss anything (or to be there, only to forget about it afterwards--like I do).
We have food and our health, and our beautiful life happening around us -which we are trying to live to our best every day. This is more than enough.
....and if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need. (ah yeah)
update-I never hooked up with either Nelson brother, but my friend Jen did get me a cabbage patch kid for my 28th Christmas....life is good.

it's hot

really hot. 103* to be exact (or that's what they said it was going to be, and it is too hot to argue, so we're going with it.)
Tonight for dinner I am making a pasta salad out of cheese raviolis with tiny heirloom tomatoes, fresh basil (from the garden) pine nuts and a lemon/garlic/olive oil dressing, it promises to be delicious (and cold) both of which are very important on a hot hot day. Then to follow it up, I am making a blueberry slump. Did you just smile?-I did, how can you not? Slumps, grunts, buckles, even cobbler are all such fun and yummy words. The cool thing (literally-haha) about this slump is that you make it in a pan on the stove, so you don't even need to fire up the oven. Oh yes, life is good. (and so are fresh blueberries). Won't you join me?


Blueberry Slump
serves 4 - 6

for the "slump":
2 1/2 cups fresh blueberries
1/3 cup sugar
dash of salt
1 cup water
1 Tbsp lemon juice

for the dumplings:
1 cup flour
2 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup milk

Bring blueberries, sugar, salt, and water to boiling in large saucepan. Cover; simmer for 5 minutes. Add lemon juice. Meanwhile, mix together dry ingredients, ensuring there are no lumps. Cut in butter until the mixture resembles a coarse meal. After the lemon juice has been added to the blueberry mixture, stir the milk into the dumpling mixture until the flour is dampened. Drop the dumpling batter from the tip of a tablespoon into the bubbling sauce, making 6 dumplings - do not let them overlap. Cover tightly; cook over low heat for 10 minutes without peeking. Serve hot.

we are going to enjoy ours with mango vanilla ice cream on top. off I go!

home again, home again

hello, I've missed you! It has been almost an entire month since my last post, it is not because I don't have anything to tell you about, it is because I haven't had a free moment. (as the matter of fact, I am sneaking this one it right between a homeschool bookshelf painting project and picnic lunch/snow cone/pool party in the back yard-so let's get rolling)
We drove Dad home to Klamath Falls after fathers day and spent a few days there, the weather was gorgeous and we had a great time. There is a park with a little wading pool and we went there every day and followed it up with dipped cones at Dairy Queen, now every time we see a sign for Dairy Queen, the girls beg for them, and then ask to go swimming--funny how we are so easy to program. We ended that trip with our 300 mile drive home (first time alone with just me and the girls) it took just around 7 hours (which is really good if I do say so myself!) we all survived, but it left me questioning my judgement--no time to get too worked up about it though-we had to pack for our all girls camping trip....
After 2 nights at home, we set out again for a coast camping trip with my friend Erika and her kiddos. Together we had 2 crazy mamas, 2 diabetics and 2 preschoolers (um, looking back, maybe I should have thought a little harder about this) When we talked about it camping, Erika remembers that this big trip was my idea, I remember it being her idea (not that we are trying to place blame, but-haha) We actually had a fantastic time (didn't even get frost bite or eaten by bears or anything!) and I came home feeling exhausted but strangely empowered like, once again, I had done something new, and came away from it with a new knowledge and strength.
When we voted at the end of the trip, the camping food walked away with all the awards, although, it wasn't really a surprise with all the marshmallows, cool whip, chocolate and ice cream that we consumed. Mama's know how to eat.
We got home and were even more exhausted than when we left (big surprise) and had to sleep, do laundry and pack our bags again for our big family river retreat. I think we got 2 more nights at home in our beds (or maybe it was just one, I can't quite remember now-things are a bit blurry)
The girls are getting pretty good at road trips, we made it to Gold Hill in about 7 hours this time and had a great weekend with my family, and the 4th of July was a special day when my friend Justin showed up with his raft and took us out on the white water for the day. Every one had a good laugh when he made me get in the front and be a "hood ornament" while he drove head first into a monster wave and put 3000 gallons of the river straight up my nose. (thanks Justin).
After the weekend, mom took us back to Klamath for the night where we would catch the train to Sacramento out on Monday.
Monday was great we met Racheal and my mom for a fancy lunch in Klamath and then we went to see "UP", it was ok, Maggie thought the dogs were kind of scary, and Lanie wanted to leave about half way through. (but we bribed them with ice cream and were able to make it through)
We caught the train at 10:30 or so to ride it 9 hours through the night and arrived in Sacramento at 6 am with Aunt Debby waiting for us! Auntie Retta showed up from Missouri the very next day and we had a whole week of lounging in the sun, splashing in the pool, playing with cousins and eating like kings (or queens as the case may be). It was so nice to have some down time, I read 3 books, and even got to sleep in a couple of the days. It was sad and hard to say good bye when it was time for us to catch the train home at midnight on Sunday. (YES! midnight-I think I am crazy after all) We had upgraded to a sleeper car for the 17 hour trip home, so we got to board in first class, and the girls settled right in for the long night. There wasn't much room in our little closet, but it was cozy, so I was able to doze a bit. I woke up when the conductor said we were coming up to Klamath Falls and we were ahead of schedule, so we were having an unscheduled break there for an hour. I called my folks and woke up the kids (looking back, this was a bad idea) and we got to get out and have a nice early morning visit with them at the station. When we re-boarded we went and had a yummy breakfast and napped and played and read all day (all the long long long day) until we finally made it home around 5pm.
I was more exhausted than ever (haha-ok, maybe not, but it literally took me about 3 days of just chilling here to even feel partly human again).
So there you have it-my month at a glance-Alan has put a moratorium on travelling and even doing much of anything at all, saying that weekends belong to him and he wants to sit under the tree (ok, well I have paraphrased, but basically-that's the idea). I have a couple of free weeks coming up, we are working on some homeschooling projects (book case for our class room) and splashing in the pool, before we host summer company and go to camp and have a big party and paint the classroom and.....well, you get it.
see ya soon!

summer is here!

Yesterday was a big day here, it was fathers day and summer solstice. My dad came over to celebrate the occasion with our family, and we took a day trip to check out Mt. St. Helens. It was a really fun day, and the girls had a great time-we learned a lot. This is a cool attraction because there are little visitors centers about every 30-45 miles along the way up, so there is tons to see and do if you have enough time (and money). We watched movies about it, checked out tons of gift shops (finally choosing treasures of a bag full of magnetic hematite and a tiny wooden bug in a nut with wiggle legs). Hours later when we finally reached the Johnston Ridge lookout (the closest you can get from the side we went to) the mountain was cloaked in a big foggy cloud and we could only see her feet. They were majestic. We wanted to go into the visitors center and check it out, but at $8 per person, we took in the fantastic view, observed a friendly chipmunk and hit the road back. It was a great day, and a fun time was had by all (until it was bed time and we had to reassure Layla no less than 10,000 times that the volcano was not going to erupt without warning and if it were to get active again, we would, certainly, go stick it out at Aunt Debby's until all danger had passed) Poor thing cried herself to sleep, it is a big job to take on a volcano's worth of worry all on your own.
Today we were planning to go check out Bonneville dam and visit the giant (Jurassic) sturgeon there, but tomorrow we are headed to Klamath to take Dad home, and we decided that too many long days in the car would work against us in the end. So instead, today we are laying low, getting in some good quality time. We started up our homeschool this morning, and right now, Dad is out on the deck needle felting with the girls. (he made me an angel-awwww!) We have some errands to run, then packing, then tomorrow we are off to spend a few nights in Klamath where we plan to catch up with some old friends, meet a baby, and take our sketch books into the woods for a botany lesson with papa-the girls just love him so much!
When we get back, we have one free day, then Layla and a friend are having a booth at a local recycle fair where they are going to teach other children how to make toys out of recycled household products and possibly earn some money for the things they have been making all year. Layla is so excited she can hardly stand it. (pause to catch my breath) Then on Monday we are headed out with another mama and her kiddos for a camping trip at the coast for 2 nights. in a tent. with 2 diabetics and 2 preschoolers. Funny thing is that I am not really nervous about any of it and getting pretty excited. I am sure there will be plenty to tell after we survive these next couple of weeks, so until then......

remember me?

I have a horrible memory. I think it may be genetic, or possibly some kind of self preservation that my mind does for me without asking first. When I think back, I remember lots of things, things from my childhood, even up to being a young adult-then it gets a little fuzzy. The memory loss seems strangely to correspond with my 25th birthday, which, in and of itself is still a nice strong, young and lively age to be. It also happens to be about the time I started having kids. I am pretty sure this is when my brain turned itself off (for my own protection) and refused to hold any more memories. I just block things out. (note to self: start taking more pictures) Luckily I have the kids around now to remind me of everything I need to know that has happened during the last 6 years.

Sometimes the kids remember things that you honestly think never actually happened, around here, they probably did and I just don't remember. Now to my credit, I do remember some things, and most of all of the REALLY important things, but also we really do lots of stuff, so you know I am creating more memories than say, the shut in across the street, or the mumbling homeless guy in the wal-mart intersection.
Anyway, the other day Layla gets all excited remembering that we used to make peanut butter play dough (I remember this one!) and is trying to share the recipe with a friend. We love nuts around here, salted, buttered or otherwise, and especially when they are used in cool fun projects like mixed media collages or even better-YUMMY SNACKS!
without further ado I give you:


PEANUT BUTTER PLAY DOUGH

1 1/2 c. peanut butter
3/4 c. powdered milk
3 tbsp. honey

Mix all ingredients together. Play with it. Eat it!

alternate (non dairy) version

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup honey
4-6 oz. corn flour or corn meal
Combine together peanut butter and honey. Add the corn flour until it reaches the desired consistency.

little darlin'

it's been a long cold lonely winter..........it's all right, here comes the sun.

Just wanted to check in and let you know that we are all doing well. We are incredibly busy and enjoying the nice weather, and have not had a free moment.
This last week we did something exciting-we had a friend come stay with us that we had never met in person before-I only knew her from etsy (we are both in a natural children's toys team). Come to find out, we are like long lost friends and we had a fantastic time, showing her all around the area and all of our favorite places. Living like a tourist is hard work!
We went to the coast this weekend and Maggie loved it! Really, she LOVED it, she chased sea gulls, dug sand pits, waded in the surf (even did a face plant where she had to spit out a mouthful of sand) but refused to act cold or wet so we wouldn't make her get out. I was thinking back on it and realized that she had never been to the beach. Well, we went once for Layla's 3rd birthday, but there was a snow storm, so we just sat inside by the fire place and watched the waves crash out our balcony window. (It was super cool, but not really beachy) I can't believe that this is even possible since Alan and I love the ocean so much, but then thought back and came to realize that we have been crazy busy for years. How did that happen? We are making a definite effort to go more often, hopefully starting later this month with a camping trip.

Home school update-Layla got all 3 classes that she wanted for the fall, so we are really excited about that. This school year officially ends on the 18th, but I think the girls have already checked out. I'm not actually sure how much learning they squeeze in during these last few weeks anyway, it's probably hard to concentrate on anything during "crazy hair, pajama, bring your dad and teddy bear to school day" anyway.

Tomorrow I am hosting a dozen of my friends for poker night and then off to visit some friends for the weekend about 3 hours down the road, so another busy one--seems like summers work out that way. Layla has big plans for fathers day, and then a Klamath trip, then camping, and then.....in between it all we have to find time to sit in the yard, splash in the pool, fire up the grill, sing around the fire pit, consume mass quantities of barley pop, watch movies on the barn, and spend time with our favorite friends, speaking of that--if you ever get a free minute-swing on by, we'd love to have you!

the weight

we have been struggling with some diabetes issues as of late, (too many to be comfortable with), the thing that strikes me is the feeling in my heart. It is a heavy weight. I tried to explain it to Alan the other night-but it hard to get the right words to express a feeling. Like love, how could you possibly tell someone how it feels, they won't understand. Or pride or jealously or even bliss. Sometimes there are no words. I love to write-it's what I do, so it is hard for me when words fail, like I have no where to go. It feels like the first time you realized that love could fail-way back in 7th grade when it became clear that the boy of your dreams was really a creep, or when you hear really bad news, or when you lose a friend. It is a heavy leaden lump, and it stays there, with no remedy, and drags you down. You find yourself lying on the floor (it is the only safe place, you can't get hurt there, you can't fall further) until you somehow find the strength to drag yourself up again, and rejoin the fight. It is what you must do, it is your job and honor, but it is so hard. And the weight is so heavy. When it gets late, the darkness is soothing somehow, and I find time to write with a pen on paper, it helps me to move forward, even if the steps are small, it is still forward motion, and this small action helps me remember that I am alive and necessary. Sometimes it gives me courage, but sometimes it just makes me cry until I can fall asleep.
the other night this is how I felt:

all burdens are heavy
but the heaviest ones, it seems
are the burdens that you shoulder for others
self pity is unseemly and unattractive and repellent
and when I think of the loads that others bear
it shames me to think that my lot is heavy and cumbersome
when I know it is but a small piece of what some have to weather
and yet still, the weight is there
and the fear and responsibility
and the reality
it almost seems like too much
but then there is the reward
of a sunny smile or a tight hug
or any number of amazing things
and I know why I have to do it
it is my job, my heart, my love
there are no guarantees but one
and so I continue on
and pray for a miracle
and I am so thankful that my true love is by my side
together we are stronger than either one could be alone
but we can't know if it is enough
we are losing this game
and yet we must go on.
This life is not fair.

here we go

so the idea is to post more to keep myself accountable. Looks like February 11th until today, May 21st went screaming by with no posts, and tons of stuff has happened-believe me! Maybe that's why I haven't had time to share-too much stuff.
Here's the latest, and then to be honest, a break because it is spring (almost summer) and we are outside most of the time (and in the evening when I am in, we are having beer and playing and not on the computer) BUT the plan is to blog away starting in the fall-so stay tuned for that!

ok-the latest:
My sister came here and lived with us for a few months, she is now off onto the next adventure, which currently looks like it involves PSU and possibly some kind of library.
Alan had gnarly foot surgery to fix some bunion business (who knows) and had to wear a robo-boot for an entire life time (it was spooky) finally got that sucker off and is healing nicely and wearing regular shoes again (but with shorter toes)
March was my birthday month, it was rad. (I am older now) My best friend moved away and it was the saddest thing ever (besides all the times when the complete wrong person wins survivor-that is also very sad)
April was Maggie's birthday, she is 4 now, and tells everyone. (apparently it's a big deal) Layla sang in a concert at school with all of the other kindergartners-if you haven't been to one of these, I highly recommend it-6 year olds are awesome! (and amazingly good singers, but the dancing/hand motions and stuff were priceless)
We went to DISNEYLAND for the first time ever-the girls were in Heaven! Really, it was so so fun (I was a skeptic, but the almighty Diz won me over, I am amazed!) and then Alan and I braved the swine flu and headed to Mexico. We were the only people in the entire country, so that helped us to not get infected. (Plus as my doctor advised me, Disneyland was more of a risk than Mexico due to the high germ/people count there.) Anyway we made it home safe and sound (later to come down with strep throat!) and take months of antibiotics. (eep!)
Then, my cousin Alora came to visit for a short bit and we had a great time, she hasn't been here in years. She helped me get my garden planted and we had a great time just relaxing and getting to hang out. The sun was out every day she was here!
We enrolled Layla in a homeschooling program for next year (have I gone completely nuts?!?) and between the doctors and dentist appointments and seed planting and house projects, the time is just disappearing. This weekend we are hoping to get our front steps in (finally!!!) and basically just get to spend some family time together and finish up some random projects (there really are so many, it's hard to know where to begin)
Next weekend is the Hockinson fun days celebration here in our little community, we love to go, and then I am having a friend come to stay from Missouri for a bit and another big weekend party for some local friends!
I am tired and bug bit (from so many nights out late by the fire pit) but really enjoying myself, it is so nice to have a house and the yard is shaping up---summer is promising to be the best one yet! (I will let you know!)

time to start again!

so it is almost mid February already, and I just realised that I haven't blogged since November. Wow, time flies. We had a great Thanksgiving, joining my family at the Rogue River for food, fun and family time, this is a new tradition and is the plan from now on I believe for everyone who can make it. Christmas was really amazing this year too! We tried not to spend much money and had almost an entirely hand made Christmas, we all really loved everything we got and appreciated it so much, especially the lack of plastic and packaging! The girls have had about a weeks worth of "snow days" so far-including one yesterday-when there wasn't any snow. (Makes me wonder if maybe they just needed a midweek break!)
My sister decided that living in England and studying physics wasn't her cup of tea (oh-I am a riot!) so earlier this month, she moved back here and is staying in the loft-it is temporary, but she is paying rent, so that is a big help.
Valentines day is quickly approaching (which is one of my very favorite holidays of the entire year, barely eclipsed by Christmas and Blochtoberfest) so we are getting ready and excited for that. For years now, I have had a valentines day tradition with my friend Erika (she loves vday too!) we would do some fancy girly thing, so we would have a great time and let our men off the hook. (side note; boys DO NOT understand valentines day. They get all worried and anxious about the right present or what to do for dinner, when all the while, we are just happy to be in love and think it's cool to celebrate it) Anyway, every year we do something, when we had kiddos, they started coming with us, and this year, the big day falls on a Saturday, so the whole gang is coming. Mom and Dad are even coming up and we are going to eat at Benihana-which is Japanese food that they cook on your table, it is fun and so delicious, followed afterwards by big piles of strawberries back at Erika's house with little shortcakes, cool whip and chocolate to dip it in. Sounds dreamy right-what's not to love?!
The shop is doing well, there haven't been many sales lately, I guess it isn't candle season. I am working on some new things and can't wait to bring them into the shop. BuzzHandmade will soon be carrying more goodies made with bee products for you and your home, so that project has been keeping me pretty busy. (stay tuned)
The sun has been peeking out a couple of days a week, so we have been able to take walks, play outside (in the mud) and start getting excited about our garden. So far we have done the clearing out and cleaning up, we even bought some neat new seeds, but we really can't wait for the days when the sun comes to stay and we get to be outside more. We have big plans for this summer-there is a Disneyland trip, Mexico, camp outs, rafting plans, bonfires, parties, and of course just making time to visit and play with friends. Hope to see you soon!