Thursday, November 15, 2007

are we there yet??

so I just took a little trip down to Sacramento..(it was 2 days and only 1 night, I do NOT recomend this itinerary!!) I got the call on Tuesday that my great grandma Maggie was not doing well and that we all needed to rally together as soon as possible. My parents headed down that night and got in about 10 or so. Alan has taken a lot of time off this year and is down to only a few days left, which are already designated for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I was making myself sick trying to figure out what to do. I had a few options, most of which included me taking my girls alone, for a 13 hour car trip down California way, none of those were very tempting, considering they have a hard time in the car to Costco, and it only takes 12 minutes. I finally came up with a plan that I thought would work. Alan would get 1 bereavment day on Friday and this would let me leave Thursday at 7 when he got home from work, and start my trip. To tell you the truth, I was nervous about the drive, sad about my grandma, and worried that my family could make it for a whole weekend without my superior care and guidance. I was already doubting my decision before I left. Plans changed at the last minute and I bought a ticket for the train. The next day at 1:37, I boarded the Pacific Coast Starlight, with a huge bag of snacks and a book, and smiling, left my hubby and kids waving in the parking lot. This would be much better. I rode the train for 17 hours until I finally arived at 6:30am-whoa!! At least someone else was driving. We stopped for a bite at my Aunt Debs--(sidenote--I have gotten to see my famiy a ton lately and frankly I think it is great for my overall health and well being--I'll get back to you after we spend Thanksgiving together in a 3 bedroom house, that math breaks down to about 10 per room-yikes!!) Then headed over to see gram. Now, up until this point I had struggled. I wanted to be able to say goodbye, and was hoping she could hold on until I got there to love on her one last time. When I was walking up to her house, I had a different feeling entirely, I was scared, but it was for myself--what if I couldn't handle it? What if this was a mistake? Now, it was real. I went in and it was great, and peaceful and I was so glad she was still there and that I had made it in time. We left around 1 and finished our day. We got the call about 10 that night that gram was gone. I had just made it-barely. I learned 3 things on my trip, and since you are special, I am now going to share them with you:
1)death hurts, I mean, really bad and deep. Even if the person is old, really old, and ready to go, it still hurts more than just about anything.
2)there is a new wine that I like, and I prefer to drink the whole damn box by myself, it is Three Thieves Bandit wine in a lime green box-cute! It tastes like Kool Aid-mmmm... and doesn't have any glass to break and you can recycle the box-yay (beware the next day if you take on the entire box yourself, but hey-it's worth it I say)
3)I was made for first class. I upgraded to my very own sleeper car on the way home (since I was sleep deprived and losing my mind among other things)and had a perfectly glorious trip! Too bad I didn't have the bandit with me for that, I really would have had a good time. Anyway, I'm spoiled now, and there is no way I'm riding in the back anymore--sorry Alan.
And I made it. What a tiny huge trip. I am still spinning a bit, but coming home to the garage had a way of plopping me back in real life pretty quick (and hard). It's good to be home. I am so lucky and blessed to have such a great family, WOW, I really do love you guys, thanks for softening the blow. (And if that conductor was just a little cuter, or I had my box of Bandit, I might not have made it back-whee!)

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